Weekly Crosscheck, Vol. 1, #7

December 19, 2005

The Weekly Crosscheck is back!
Sorry for the absence, but it could not be avoided. During my time off, I did file one press release, although it did not get published. For those of you who missed it, here it is:

Birchcliff Icebats Press Release
Dec 15th, 2005

During the past two weeks the Icebats players union has issued a “skate to rule” decree in response to the management absenteeism. Icebats players have stopped scoring goals, taking excessive penalties, or even shooting the puck in the general direction of the opposing goaltender. Icebats goaltenders have decided to protest by playing only two games a week. Following the example set by the Canadian Parliament the players are expected to issue a vote of no confidence later today. If the vote is carried it is expected that Icebats fans will hold an immediate election between Coach Johnny and a suitable contender. The leading contenders at the moment are thought to be recently available Eddie Olczyk, a Chicago native, former Winnipeg Jet and Stanley Cup winning New York Ranger, with three months coaching experience and Seleen Dion, who knows absolutely nothing about hockey, but is in fact Canadian.

It is not know if Coach Johnny (the only currently registered Icebats fan) would vote for himself over Eddie O., but would undoubtedly give up hockey forever if Dion were ever to enter Birchcliff Arena.

Now, at the end of Week 11, there is a very different picture of the HBAS standings. The Icebats turned things around at the expense of the Sublimators. The Phlamers continue their mid-season slump. The Pucknuts finally pull ahead of Oochamkunutk. The Moonshimers need to get it in gear if they are going to make the play-offs.

I won’t go into great details of it all (I don’t really have the time). Most of the team strategies have remained the same. Most teams are sticking with their preferred line-ups, and only trading when injury makes it necessary. Most teams, that is, expect the Pucknuts, who seem to think the HBAS is the futures market. I must admit, that with his 74 trades as of the time of this report, Coach John is beating the odds. Team loyalty may not pay off for the Moonshimers, however. Even without DiPeitro, the team has four goalies and four Islanders. That may work out during this abbreviated week, if Blake can screw his head back onto his body…. but I think it’s a big gamble.

I have received last week’s stats total, and the only major note to mention is that the Icebats are no longer PIM Kings. The Pucknuts now lead that in both overall minutes, and best week. (Dang it, he bested me by two minutes!)

Since time is running short here at the Icebat Cave, I’ll get onto this weeks predictions. This is going to be tough because most points are going to be earned on Friday, and there are no games on Saturday and Sunday.

Icebats vs. Moonshimers:
We’ll have to see what happens with Blake. This may be a close race. The Icebats now have only goalies from two teams, whereas the Mooshimers have goalies from four teams. Which of us is crazier than the other? Hard to say. With Limeaux pretty much out of it, and Spezza acting goonish, I have to give most of the points to the Icebats (assuming they can squeeze in three goalie games by Friday).

Pucknuts vs. Oochamkunutk
The Pucknuts are only ahead by one point, so this is for big bragging rights. Ooch is sticking with her computer picks. Pnuts are trading players fast and furious. Weekes is back and Gerber, Rolston, and Heatley are hot. The trade for Drury was a pretty wise move too. I have to say that the Pucknuts are better set up for the short week, and will probably take at least 7 points, unless he makes a rash, and unwise trade after drinking too much Eggnog at the office party.

Monks vs. Sublimators
Here are two teams trying to catch up to the Icebats. I think they both have a good shot at it. The Monks have strengthened their Ranger position, which is cool and all, but the wrong week to do it, Billy. I give this week to the Sublimators with the unstoppable goalie line-up, and a good mix of players. Burtuzzi may be the only thing keeping the Monks ahead of the Sublimators by the end of the week.

Phlamers vs Badabings
This is the week the Phlamers finally put the breaks on their loosing streak. Count on Detroit staying hot and giving the Phlamers more than enough points to shut the Badabings down completely. What I want for Christmass is for the Badabings to activate just one more goalie, and at least make it a little challenging. I feel sorry for all the pressure Raycroft is under.

Well, that’s it for now. I’m leaving the Icebats in the capable hands of assistant coach Juliet, while I work hard, and then hide for a week. I’ll check in from time to time, but that’s about it. We may call up a couple of rookies from the Reber Volunteer Fire Department (our minor league affiliate) if we pull too far ahead of the Moonshimes by the end of the week. Have a good holiday, keep your stick on the ice, and don’t forget to put on your toque.

Weekly Crosscheck, Vol. 1, #7

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