Weekly Crosscheck Vol. 1, #6
November 29, 2005
Welcome to a belated Weekly Crosscheck brought to you by John of the Pucknuts.
The other John has traveled north, presumably in search of penalty minutes. He was last seen trying to coax Rob Ray out of retirement.
Weekly Wrap-up
The premiere matchup for the week (because it involved my team, of course) was Pucknuts vs Ice Bats. What started as a close match turned into a blowout. The turning point of the week? Andrei Markov’s 10 minute misconduct penalty for shoving the referee. Once the Bats lost the lead for PIMs, the team collapsed and almost fell 9-1 after Auld gave up 6 goals Sunday night. The affect of losing the penalty category to a shield wearing Hab was too much for the Bats to bear and they released Brian McGrattan in shame. Coach Rayburn was quoted on Sunday as saying “If my goons aren’t willing to rough up a few zebras to win, then they don’t deserve the paycheck”.
In the “You Can’t Defeat Him, but Only Hope to Contain Him” category, the Monks put up a spirited battle against the Phlamers and held the first place team to winning 6 categories due in large part to an excellent week by the Rangers. It is unfortunate that they did not have Marek Malik on the Monk roster or they could have swept as detailed in rule 136-B subsection 4 of the THB All Stars rule book.
If any player pulls a game winning, trick shot out of his ass in the 15th round of a shootout his team shall be awarded victories in all 10 categories and his opponent must be dragged behind the zamboni for 3 turns of the rink wearing nothing but his opponents jock. Location of the jock to be determined by coin toss (head/tail).
Around the rest of the league Oochamkunutk pulled out a 6-4 win in a tightly fought match against the the Sublimators while the Moonshimers whooped the ever slacking Badabings 8-1 even with DePietro in the lineup (although he was promptly dumped at the end of the week).
Sublimators vs Phlamers
Looking ahead to next week it is the Sublimators turn to try and reel in the Phlamers. They are in luck with Forsberg out for most of the week. It will be interesting to see just how many goals Gagne can score without him.
Ice Bats vs Badabings
The Ice Bats have a week to lick their wounds and rack up some wins against the Badabings.
Moonshimers vs Oochamkunutk
The Moonshimers will be taking on the second place Ooch in an attempt to get above .500. Watchout for Coach Shimers four goalie tactic. It may just work since one of them is NOT DePietro.
Pucknuts vs Monks
The matchup of the week features the two Rangers fans going head to head with the Pucknuts going against the Monks. Unfortunately for the Monks the Rangers only play two games this week. Jis only hope is that Coach Howell is too busy trying the Malik shot in the driveway to do his lineup.
Also:
I have investigated the playoff format. The top six teams will make the playoffs with the top two getting a first round bye. I think a special award may be in order for the poor team to finish 7th and to share the basement with the Badabings.
That is all!
Comments
One Response to “Weekly Crosscheck Vol. 1, #6”
Got something to say?
You must be logged in to post a comment.
John and John… If I don’t see a new crosscheck soon you are both fired… And worse yet, I’ll write the next one. Believe me, you guys (but most of all Shimer) don’t want that to happen!!!
Now quit slacking and get writing!!!